We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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