he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
