I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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