I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
