but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
