Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
