Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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