honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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