I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Mom said you looked used
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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