New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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