I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
