Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
