he wants to bone in the snuggie
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am one with the molecules
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
