I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
