So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
