I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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