How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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