I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is Oprah even human
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