At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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