It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
