It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
