im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
