...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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