You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
