So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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