he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
