nut hugger
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize