physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Randomize
