bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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