Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
