have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
