...so i touched it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
