Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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