Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
