can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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