when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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