Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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