I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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