bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
