what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
