eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
