I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
