i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
