I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
