walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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