So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
