we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
