I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
