Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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