K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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