Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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